On My 40 Day Break from Facebook

During the week leading up until Lent, I was feeling very Internet-fried.  That usually happens to me this time of year...too much input/inspiration and needing more quiet, more nature, more simplicity.  So it became a rather easy decision on the Tuesday before Lent to realize that I needed to give up Facebook.

Now, I had never done any kind of "fast" like this before.  And I had been on Facebook almost daily for 4 years.  That is a serious habit.  The first two or three days I was twitchy and actually would have a "news feed" scroll through my brain with the full names of girlfriends going, going, going.  It was nuts. I thought that I had probably screwed my brain up from social media! LOL!

In that first week I got SO much done around my house that it was shocking.  Lots more cleaning and clearing and to-do lists done. It's as if I had all this free time on my hands. Was my time on Facebook really keeping me from doing necessities around my home?! Was I blinded to how much time it was really distracting me from more important duties?

I also noticed very quickly how blessed soul-peace came.  No more reading other people's drama, their jokes, their political rants, or complaining.  I couldn't believe how much negativity I was feeding on by reading status updates.  I was surprised to notice how much of my mental energy was focused on others instead of on the children right in front of me.  Even being present with my children in body didn't mean that my heart and mind were with them.  My heart and mind were usually pondering somebody else's issues posted on Facebook. Pretty sobering.

Then I began listing the things that I was getting done without Facebook in my life.  Whenever we say "no" to something, then we are saying "yes" to something else. With saying "no" to Facebook I was saying "yes" to:

• Starting a simple prayer plan.  I set my iPhone to ring chime reminders at 9am, noon and 3pm to pray.  I pray the Lord's Prayer, Psalm 23, Psalm 117 and for my marriage, my parenting, gratitude, my children and the Compassion children we sponsor.  I fail at following through every time, but it's wonderful to replace chronic Facebook-checking with checking-in with Jesus.
• Engaging my children in conversations/ being with them in body and mind.  Amazing.
• Reading my children many more books
• Reading books for myself
• Getting outside with my children.  Lying on the grass. Hanging out on the trampoline. Playing games.
• Journaling
• Setting up coffee dates with friends.  Since I realized that I wasn't seeing what people were up to, it became natural to begin initiating more coffee and real-life conversations.  Beautiful.
• Running
• Gardening
• Cleaning
• Organizing
• Taking photos and posting them on Instagram (a much friendlier and smaller social media venue)

In the end, I have a much lighter spirit, a more focused heart on the Lord, Mike and my children, less agitation/mind clutter, greater intention in building face-to-face friendships that truly feed me, and more work done around my home. Pretty good trade-off! 

I am now back "on" Facebook, but it will be limited.  It's just not worth my time.  I feel as if it is needed in some ways to find out about social events and many people use it as a form of email now.  I will use those good things well and check in with friends I love, but leave the mindless scrolling and reading behind.  There are too many other adventures to be had with my "friends" who live right here in my home.  Their hearts and their "updates" are what I need to be checking in on.  

Lord, give the grace to make it so.

On Finding Margin

I find myself rather exhausted and worn thin these days.  Six children, homeschooling, potty training a toddler and a baby who wakes up throughout the night does that to a woman.  I find myself scrambling to make life simpler, to reduce the work-load, to do away with unneeded stress.  I am looking for margin.

I learned many years ago that a life without margin is a life that will burn-out. Living without margin  is a lifestyle that is not sustainable, that robs joy, and steals peace.  We are people who have limits.  We cannot max our lives out with activity and commitments and obligations and expect to live healthy and whole and sane.

{If you have never read the book Margin, it is a must-read.  I come back to it year after year.}

As I looked around my home last week, I realized that the volume of dishes that I do for our family (even with the kids help!) is too much right now. We cook three meals a day for seven days a week and that adds up to a lot of dishes along with a lot of cloth napkins. My values of living frugally, eco-friendly, and aesthetically pleasing began to collide with the reality of the amount of work I am doing that is draining me and stealing time away from spending time with my kids, doing creative pursuits, or even just resting.

I made the very-difficult-for-me decision to become wasteful.  I went to Target and bought paper napkins, bowls and plates.  I felt like a failure in many ways for that.  I hate it when my reality doesn't fall into line with my ideals.  But somehow that is when I learn the most about grace and flexibility and sensitivity and freedom. It's when I realize that my health and sanity are more important than ideals.

My lifestyle choices must be sustainable for me in every season, and seasons change therefore so do some of my choices.

We can't hold on to old ways of doing things if they don't work anymore.  There is a sense of grief when that happens, but rest assured that seasons will change again and many times we return to those values and ideals again but with hands more open and more willing to let go.

I think the biggest lesson I learn during times like this is that God really loves me.  Just as I am.  Frail, bumbling, tired, and messed up.  He isn't concerned with the fact that I bought paper products and would rather I choose the path that leads to my loving others best.

And for me right now, that means letting go of being sustainable for the earth and choosing to be sustainable for me.