Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Loving him well


One of my biggest goals for 2011 came to me so simply and gently. Over the final months of 2010, it's as if the Lord nudged my heart with a sweet love and tenderness towards my husband. My heart has grown with desire to make it my aim to really love him well this year.

This man of mine has served me and our children tirelessly over the last 14 years...he gives and gives and keeps on giving. I want to be as tender with him as he is with me and am spending my time thinking of meaningful ways to love him within his love languages: quality time, words of affirmation, and touch.

We are getting up at 6am together each morning (started January 1st!) and we are loving that quiet time to talk, pray and get on the same page. It has been so wonderful because we are beginning our day unified and connected to each other instead of how I usually am with him when I am awakened by children: reactive and barky!

I am being intentional to tell him the ways I am seeing him grow...the character qualities that shine so brightly. I am looking for and noticing the things that he does well and appreciating him verbally for that. I can't believe how much it means to him!

And with touch, I am trying to be more available. I'll leave it at that :). I am also initiating scratching his back which I know he loves and giving him more hugs and kisses (this doesn't come naturally to me at all...touch is almost last on my love language list!)

I am also putting some ideals aside to really seek to bring him pleasure. I am cooking through the Pioneer Woman's cookbook and am enjoying fixing him "man meals" for a change instead of my meal preferences. I am trying to keep the pantry and house stocked with things I think he'll enjoy. I am watching TV shows that he wants to watch instead of demanding my way.

These are small things...nothing elaborate. Just little acts of intentional love and care. I want him to know that HE is my priority (above the children!) and offer him tenderness and unconditional love. I am so doggone selfish, and this is so.good.for.me! I am being so blessed by being a blessing to him and he claims that 2011 is going to be a really great year.

I can't wait!

20 comments:

debbie bailey said...

Impressive! I know how hard it is to do things for your husband with so many kids around. It was a struggle for me then; not so much now that we only have one little chick left in the nest. I need to work harder on it, too. Isn't it easy to 'do your own thing' instead of pleasing him?

Kelly said...

This is such a good reminder for me. I tell my husband I love him all the time, but I'm not always the greatest at showing him how much I appreciate him for who he is.

Emily (Laundry and Lullabies) said...

This is such a good reminder for me. I need to be more intentional about loving my husband the way HE needs to be loved. I like your examples a lot.

Andrea said...

aimee, so sweet. you are a blessing.

laurel said...

Love, love, love this Aimee...and I am SURE Mike does! ;)
And what a gift for your children, to see a happy, selfless marriage modeled in front of them.
Sounds like it's going to be a good year!

♥ Tina said...

What a wonderful, wonderful thing. Big hugs, Tina xx

Chrysanthemama said...

I really, really, really needed to read this today. Thank you.

Shelley in SC said...

Ouch, did I really need to read this today? Very convicting. Thanks so much for being open, honest, and specific in how God is working and leading you!

kristinwithani said...

Love this post Aimee and a nod to biblical womanhood.

I'll be praying for you as I know not all of these are EASY even though I know it is your heart's desire.

(the touch thing... how the heck did you make it as LCH's and EMM dear friend for so long???)

Aimee said...

Kristin, LOL!! Girl, all of that made me WAY uncomfortable and feeling awkward!! I thought "is something wrong with me OR them!?" I figured a mixture of both :)

Heather said...

Wonderful post! Super encouraging! This is my heart's desire more and more these days, too. I'm really asking God to enable me to be a help meet to my husband that brings honor to Him and 'life' to my man. Thank you for spurring me on! God's blessings to you!

Your sister in Christ,
Heather

Jayme, The Coop Keeper said...

Fantastic Aimee! What a great example you are too all of us. Thanks for the encouragement!

Christine said...

Wonderful! Marriage is such a gift and treating your husband as if he's the most important part of your life will reap great rewards!

Mrs. Pivec said...

It's amazing what a huge thing the little things can add up to. They are not really too hard to find, we always just need to remember to look. Yes, you are going to have a great year! :)

LLM said...

I have long been a lurker but never posted. I often enjoy the thoughts you share. Something in this post made me "un-lurk"! You said that touch is about your last love language. Well, me too! It is absolutely my last! Touch does not come naturally to me, and I actually have to mentally think of and remind myself to touch (whether a pat on the back or hug or back scratch or whatever.) I think it is unusual for us ladies to have touch as the last love language! (Don't you?) At least, usually I hear it is the wife who wants to hug or snuggle and just be close, and not the husband!

tonia said...

it's the little things that MAKE love...you are doing well, my friend.

Mark and I are coming up on 20 years this May...it would be really nice to make this my goal too. Can I steal your idea? :)

thanks for the encouragement.

Tonya said...

You always inspire me, Aimee! Love your heart and love even more how you put that heart into action!!

Anna said...

How encouraging! Having that tenderness for your husband is soooo powerful.

Kristi said...

I love this! I would love for so many women to know that they would find TRUE joy by living in the way you just deseribed. It is God glorifying and soul satisfying. Thank you for spurring us all on. God bless.

Kathleen said...

I've just discovered you...and let me say, I will be back! What a precious offering you've given us in this blog entry. I needed to hear the 'in his love language' part, especially.
I love my husband more than even I can imagine, but I wonder if he sees that? I'll be practicing!!
Thank you...from a fellow sister in Christ, and from SC!