I am just being quiet these days. I feel like I am officially "done" with nesting. Sure, there are things here and there that I would like to see completed, but I am content with what I have gotten accomplished.
And now the waiting-for-baby game begins :)
I am 39 weeks pregnant today. I feel a bit like a waddling gnome. And SC summers are HOT! We have had a milder weekend weather-wise and that has been so nice. I am seeking to rest...and more than rest for my body, I find that I really need heart-rest. I am a bit anxious, a bit emotional...my patience runs thin with my children right now. I worry about juggling the upcoming needs of a newborn, my personal needs, my home, my marriage, my children's schooling, and my children's hearts.
I need big doses of drinking in Jesus' love and grace and forsaking all forms of unrealistic ideals and perfectionism. I shudder at being needy, and here I am at the cusp of entering a "needy" season of life. A season where I must ask for help. I must confess my needs to a community. A season of feeling "undone" in many ways...my i's won't be dotted and my t's won't be neatly crossed. "Control" proves itself to be an illusion yet gracious acceptance can be my reality (and a much healthier reality, I might add!)
Why do we fight so much against "hard"? My children hear me say regularly, "hard isn't bad"...we learn so many incredible lessons about God and ourselves and others when life is difficult and pressing. These are the times when my eyes "look to the hills from where my Help comes from". The times when I slow down, I depend on Jesus, and know that His resources are enough. I am reminded that God plus nothing equals enough.
So I seek to cease striving and instead to accept my circumstances. Instead of clinging to fear and anxiety, to receive peace and the assurance of Sovereignty's hands holding fast to mine. That His goodness and love isn't going anywhere...it's here to stay. And that He will meet me and shower me with mercy and kindness through any upcoming "hard".
On a side note, I read this post tonight and loved it...may we all be enjoying and creating "new normals" that are healthy and rich for our lives!
photo by Ben
5 comments:
"I am reminded that God plus nothing equals enough."
loved this.
enjoy your resting time.
Lovely post and linked-to post as well. I could use a big dose of contentment right now, so this was very timely.
Enjoy this special time before the baby comes.
Oh how I needed to read this tonight before I fall into bed. Thank you for sharing from the heart.
My prayers are with you as you await the blessed event.
thank you Aimee!!
As usual I can relate immensely to your thoughts--I am in the same boat.
A wonderful friend (of 7 children) reminded me yesterday that He only gives us grace for *each day*. And we are to walk by faith--continually.
She told me it helps her to look back and see how the Lord has brought her "this far" and if He has brought her "this far" then He will certainly continue to be there.
Know you are not alone!! Emmanuel--God is with us--and I am too, friend. Sending love.....
Aimee, I am so excited to see this new little one. I can't believe it's almost time!!
Yes, it's hard, but as you said, it is a "season." Funny how the face of neediness changes depending on which season you are in. But God is there for you. And so are we =)
Much love,
Katherine
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