There have been dark times in the past in my relationship with the Lord. Times of searching and confusion. Too many Christian living books with conflicting messages. Too many respected leaders who love the Lord yet disagree with each other. Too many interpretations and opinions. I felt lost and disillusioned and wondering what Truth is. I stopped searching for Truth as theology and found Truth as the person of Jesus...His life, His words, His character. But I digress...
In those heavy times I felt tossed about all day...tossed about in my thinking and in my emotions. I felt adrift and scared and alone. I prayed for clarity and deliverance and eyes to see Him for who He really is. I cried out for grace and mercy and to get back to a simple faith. When did it all become so hard? When did I lose my relationship with a person and replace it with lifeless religion? Why was I trying to "do Christianity" when I was called to "be" in a safe, settled relationship with Jesus?
The Lord Jesus met me there in that desolate place. And it wasn't in books or in people or even in the Word (because at this point, even the Word was a confusing place for me). He met me in worship. I would turn on Sara Groves and weep and say "yes Lord, you are real and you are my God". She put words to my heart and lifted my eyes to Jesus over and over again. I would turn on Valley of Vision and the Truth of who I am in Christ and His Grace would shine brightly on my dark heart and I would be encouraged that all is well with my soul. Because He made it well on the Cross. And I believe it.
There are many other artists (including country music singers...God uses anything to speak...Martina McBride and Carrie Underwood at times!) whose music seemed to reach into the depths of my weary heart and lifted my eyes to Christ. The Lord used music as a safe means to whisper to me, to love on me, to speak truth to me, to woo me, and I responded. I worshipped at His feet and looked at Him and all my spiritual strivings would slip away.
I found a new CD today and put in an order. Come Weary Saints looks to be another worship CD that will speak loudly of God's character and put life into perspective. I was able to listen to samples of a few of the songs and my eyes puddled immediately. Check out Sovereign Grace's other wonderful music offerings while you are there...they are powerful and I appreciate the low prices and free shipping to boot :) And do take time to go listen to some Andrew Peterson...your soul will be soothed and comforted.
Have you found music to be an intimate part of your walk with the Lord? Which artists have lifted your eyes to worship?
Share the worship wealth!
photo by now I'm always smiling
14 comments:
Yes we can loose our rest and release in Jesus when we become burdened by .....various elements of organised religion....
We are starting the year at a new church this year. I hope that I can be free to worship unburdened. I fear though that the problems stem from me, not my environment...
Thank you for today post, I've been having one of those days... and it was just what I needed to hear! God is so amazing how He connects things for us - I have been focusing on "be" as my word for 2009. To "be" present in each moment and you talked about that...God is so good!
i can so relate to this, right down to Sara Groves (pretty much every album of hers, but especially 'All Right Here, and 'Conversations'), Andy Peterson and Sovereign Grace music. We have also recently really enjoyed a couple of albums from Red Mountain Music
my favorite from there so far is the Gadsby Project. I highly recommend it. here is the link:
http://www.redmountainchurch.org/rmm/alb/gadsby.html
Yes, music definitely plays a large role in worship for me. I love to sing the hymns at church and listen to it throughout the week. I love Caedmon's Call/Derek Webb. And Handel's Messiah. Also, judy rogers throughout my childhood and now with my children.
I am right here with you, girl! Music just flows in our souls, which were created to live in worship. It has such power to teach, rebuke, soothe, and the ability to connect our minds with our hearts and our God.
I just discovered AP this year, and it has been years since an artist has called me to worship in the way which he does.
Some others I treasure...Alison Krauss, Ron Block, Legends of the Fall soundtrack, and lots of those little unsuspected treasures here and there!
oooh... goosebumps. I felt like I was living in your shadow for a moment, I could so relate to what you shared. A few favorite artists who soothe me and bring me to the throne are Steve Bell (canadian prairie guy... acoustical, very meditative and I always picture him like a modern day David), Fernando Ortega, Bebo Norman, Kathryn Scott.
Love the recommendations! Can't wait to check them out, thank you. Music is so powerful, isn't it? Right now I get inspired by listening to Handel's Messiah. The power in the voices as well as the words being sung are so inspiring and life giving.
Misty Edwards and Matt Redman have seen me through some very dark times. I really liked what you had to say at the beginning of this post, about hanging on to the person of Jesus rather than theology. I think I am definitely walking out of theology and hopefully straight into His arms.
I second Fernando Ortega - he's really the only one who really gets to me, and makes the songs come alive. I've tried others but to no avail.
Back in the days when I wasn't seeking Jesus I still listened to him, because his voice and music was so beautiful and soothing, and many of his songs reminded me of the way the sun hits the San Catalinas in the early morning, turning them pink in their glow, just before the sun rose enough to scorch the earth.
Karri, great word...and profound.
Gina, THANK YOU!! I have been listening to clips this morning from the Gatsby Project and love love love it!!
Laurel, we love Caedmon's Call too (did that influence the name of your firstborn...i have always wondered that :)
Kelli, i love soundtracks too...esp. from epics.
I need to try Fernando again...I listened to him years and years ago and for some reason his music didn't hit me then like it did for others...but I am different now :)
what a great blog of post..I'm now going to be cking in often..just a warning :D
Love what your sharing!
I know that in the dark times in my life I seem to get lost sort of speak..like you said..I've read different books without much guidence..guess I was looking in the wrong place. I know even when I'm am at my lowest of lows that worship music SO does it for me. It lifts me out of where I'm at. Sometime I'mm turn the radio on and it's just a clip of a song I hear and that was all I needed to hear. At other times it is a whole song. I totally love to worship. Even when I really have a hard to do it..sometimes I don't need to sing..I just need to be silent and listen and He gently lifts me out of that place. Worshipping Him brings me great joy. I love SO many different types of wosrship songs. I'll put the youtube video to one they just had playing at the end of the service on Sunday. It's really beautful! Enjoy!! & thanks for your post. I saw me in many parts of it!! It's a quiet sit still/listen/reflect kind of song. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKy_NxB398
yes...resting in our relationship with Him...it took a miscarriage and a severe loss to rock me out of my performance...
and be carried by Him and Him alone...
to look to Him and Him alone...
I love this post because it's so true. And one of my favorites is the Add to the Beauty CD. It is my put-into-perspective go-to. ;)
There is a Snow Patrol song (Run) that I honestly feel God used to let me know he's with me.
Bebo Norman's Between the Dreaming and Coming True is amazing.
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