Before I get back to my regular blogging of how I seek to live simply, live in my freedom in Christ, and give out resources that I personally find helpful, I feel like I need to give a bit of closure or update or whatever to all of you who have left such kind words, prayed for us, and thought about us during the past two weeks since "the Miracle on the Hudson".
Mike arrived home on the Friday night after the crash after a long car ride in a big SUV :). It was a very emotional reunion and Saturday was a crazy rollercoaster of emotions. On Sunday after going to church, we decided to head to Florida for a week as a family...to rest, to get away from staring eyes and questions, to have fun, and to process. We had a wonderful week and enjoyed some fun times at Disney...it was so much more needed than we realized. We came home last Sunday and have been seeking to re-group our schedules and get life moving as smoothly as possible again.
I don't have any huge revelations to share with you about "what we have learned" or anything. All of the shock and the surreal nature of the accident is still taking time to wear off. It's going to take some time to think through all of this, and for now we are seeking to just focus on today and following Jesus in this day. I have definitely struggled with a sense of fear and panic at the thought of how close I came to being a widow, having four young children, and a fifth one on the way.
We are so grateful for God's grace in sparing Mike's life. I know that God could have just as easily taken Mike home to be with Him. I am thrilled to have every day that I have with him right now. All of a sudden all of the little things that as a wife I can nag about have disappeared. Who cares if Mike is addicted to 1/2 sweet 1/2 unsweetened tea? Who cares that he likes to buy packaged chocolate donuts from gas stations? Who cares if he leaves piles of receipts next to his bed or on the kitchen counters?? I have been learning not to sweat the small stuff. Let him be who he is and stop trying to micro-manage things that really don't matter. Enjoy who he is and value him as a person over my controlling ideals. That's a big lesson to learn.
The other thing that I have been seeing is how I really need to have God's Word ready in my memory for when the hard times hit....especially when it comes so unexpectedly. The emotions and the fears are very real and the only thing that has kept me grounded is to meditate on Scripture that has been stored in my mind and heart for years. The Holy Spirit can quickly bring verses to mind, and I am completely comforted and given perspective. When in a panic, I tend to open the Word and scour and feel so pressured to find hope and peace...but having His Word stored in my heart allows the Lord to bring exactly what I need to hear and when I need to hear it. This has relieved much "spiritual frantic-ness" lately. So my next post will be on the sweetness and comfort of meditation. I can't tell you how many times in the last two weeks I have repeated
"cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you"
I Peter 5:7
I Peter 5:7
I am amazed at God's sovereignty in this situation...we don't know all the whys of His plan and may never know, but we do know that we can trust Him. He is mighty and powerful and does as He pleases.
And we are so grateful that He was pleased to give Mike to us for another day.